Review A Bad Game Day – M.U.S.C.L.E (NES)
Jerry: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Review a Bad Game Day. What do we have here tonight Jim?
Jim: Looks like a slobber-knocker of a bad game.
Jerry: I don’t know Jim, that fist extruding from the logo is promising. Guess we’ll have to wait and see what’s inside.
Jim: In this corner we have a fishy looking guy and in the ring, a stereotypical wrestling gimmick. Is that Tatanka Jerry?
Jerry: If that’s Tatanka, then the other guy must be Tajiri! I can barely tell Jim, these guys are hardly defined.
Jim: Out comes Tajiri with one of the worst looking dropkicks I’ve ever seen.
Jerry: You’ve got that right. Though look at Tatanka, he’s on dream street.
Jim: I’d rather be on dream street than looking at this awful color palette.
Jerry: LOOK! He’s making a comeback. Tajiri is in a world of trouble now.
Jim: Flying clothesline from the ropes! TAJIRI GOES DOWN!
Jerry: He made up just enough time to tag in fish lips!
Jim: Let’s see what moves this guy can execute.
Jim: Wait? Another flying clothesline? Do these guys know any other moves Jerry?
Jerry: I don’t believe so Jim. I had a sneaky suspicion that the logo would be the most exciting thing about this game.
Jim: LOOK! What is that guy doing outside the ring? Is he? NO, HE CAN’T BE!!
Jerry: Looks like he’s distracting the ref and throwing that weird ball like object at Tajiri.
Jim: THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I SEE!
Jim: He just knocked him out with that foreign object, they’re going to win by cheating Jerry! Wait, who’s that other guy?
Jerry: I have no idea. Didn’t even realize he was in the game until now.
Jim: Is it just me, or could this guy be any more generic looking?
Jerry: It’s not just you.
Jim: Here comes Tatanka! Tajiri better run before he gets caught.
Jerry: What’s that inside Tatanka’s hands Jim? Is that a hand axe?
Jerry: Tajiri made the tag, but it’s too late. He’s unleashing his fury on this guy in the blue trunks.
Jim: That isn’t a hand axe, but a TOMAHAWK right between the eyes.
Jerry: He’s probably thankful to get that Tomahawk in the face.
Jim: He’s celebrating, but the match isn’t even over.
Jerry: PIN HIM! Let me go play something else.
Jim: Looks like his celebrating is going on too long. Wait, WHAT’S FISH GUY DOING?!?!?
Jerry: He just cost them the match, er, I mean game!
Jim: That’s what he gets for participating in this craptacular spectacle. The only people willing to even come watch this is Mario and Luigi. Looks like Nintendo cloned them in an effort to sell more copies of this game.
Jerry: I don’t think even Mario could save this mess.
Jim: What about Luigi?
Jerry: Luigi? Who in the blue hell is that?
Jim: Speaking of blue hell, look at that Game Over screen.
Jerry: I think I know why fish guy interfered and cost them the match Jim.
Jim: Enlighten me with your knowledge.
Jerry: It’s because he was just as bored being in this game as we were playing it!
Jim: Any other closing thoughts?
Jerry: Yeah, this game didn’t only play bad, but it also sounded bad as well. Generic bang, bang noises just don’t cut it these days. Oh well, I’m glad this is finally over.
Jim: Review A Bad Game Day could happen again next August 8.